Loving Our Kids On Purpose

About a month ago, Derek and I started facilitating a class, Loving Our Kids on Purpose, taught via dvd by Danny Silk. It has been really incredible, challenging, encouraging, life-changing...and more.

It has caused to evaluate what is the goal of our parenting, moving beyond merely obedience and compliance, into our main goal being to cultivate love and relationship.
Also, training our children in self-control and protecting our parent & child connection.
Also, to reduce fear and anxiety in our parenting, not being afraid of our childrens failures but creating a safe place for our children to build self-confidence and personal responsibility. Teaching them how to handle freedom and having them gain the ability to make good decisions.

Ultimately, demonstrating to them the picture of the kingdom of God and preparing them for the kingdom of God.

Jesus said, "You will love me if you obey what I command", he is not forcing us to obey him by external punishment, but as we grow in relationship with Him, it becomes an internal response.

As I come to really know Jesus, to become connected to His heart, I grow to love him more and I choose to obey him because our relationship matters to me, my obedience flows out of love for Him not fear of what he'll do to me if I don't obey.

So, in this, we want to be a picture of this relationship to our kids.

It's huge shift for us and has actually been extremely challenging, especially with our oldest child. It's really a retraining for Derek and I as well as for the kids.

We can already see benefits and improvements as we start to figure this out. One huge victory we have seen is the value of our connection with our kids. Especially as we've struggled with our oldest, our connection with him through these struggles has remained really good, where as in the past we would have been ultra frustrated, annoyed, 'done' with him in a sense. Yet, we're choosing to walk with him through his poor decisions, to walk with him as he struggles to figure out his responsibility in this and what he's going to do about it.

It has been really exciting and effect for Derek and I to be doing this together and to be on the same page with this. As he is gone long hours between school and working a new job, this has allowed him to stay really connected the kids and to be active in parenting from a distant even when he can't be here physically. It's been quite amazing to see this happen.

Some days I feel like a genius, other days, I can't figure out what in the world to do, sometimes that is just reality:)

I am constantly asking Jesus and Holy Spirit for wisdom, guidance, counsel, direction, insight, strength, etc. in how best to raise our kids, I couldn't do it without.

We have about 4 weeks left of our class and look forward to the rest and really 'getting' this.

I am beyond thankful for our amazing children and am determined to do the best job I can for them.