3rd Quarter!

It's been a long time since I've written about school, mostly because I didn't really know what to say:) Right before Christmas break it was the end of the second quarter and I really can't believe how fast it has gone.

Before Christmas break, I was feeling pretty discouraged about school; somewhat the combination of devoting less time to school during the holidays and partly due to the kids doing poorly on their AIMS Web testing.
The AIMS web is a one minute assessment of where the kids are at with reading for their grade level. For Adrian it is letter recognition, letter sounds and pronunciation of nonsense words. I was there with her while she tested, so I know that she was totally capable of doing amazing, she just got shy and nervous with the lady testing her, so that was understandable.
At first I was surprised at C.J's results, but as I took a closer look at C.J.'s score, I realized that he is actually doing great and progressing very well, so I was worried for no reason, because I know how much he is improving and he is right on track for where he needs to be. When we went in for our quarterly evaluation with our advisor she had C.J. read to her in a one minute test and he blew his AIMS web score out of the water, I was so proud!

I am rambling a bit but really wanted to share what has progressed this past month with school and where we are now, where I am now:)

This last quarter I heard about a friend of ours opening up a new science based 'hands on' type charter school this next fall.
Immediately, I got excited about it, thinking it would be a fantastic opportunity for C.J. since he is nuts about science.
Over Christmas I got a chance to find out some more details about the school and while talking to this lady I was having a conversation in my mind.
One part of me was thinking, "wow,this sounds so cool, what a fantastic school", while the Lord was speaking to me at the very same time, "I am not releasing you, you need to keep your kids home next year".
It was interesting timing because I have been praying about what next year holds for us and wasn't sure until that moment what I was supposed to do.
Immediately I felt huge relief at just knowing what to do.
From that point, the Lord starting speaking to me about my attitude about school and the things I was saying about it. If people asked me how home school was going I would say something like, "it's alright, but I know I'm not doing this forever, I'm not a lifer". People would ask if I was doing school over Christmas break and I would say, "we're doing a little bit, because if I took a break I don't know if I'd ever start again".

Through a sermon at church a couple of weeks ago, the Lord was talking to me about condemnation versus conviction in my life.
With the many demands on me throughout the day, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and like I am just failing at everything, that if I focus on one thing, the other aspects of life fall behind. Basically living out self condemnation, in the sense that I'm just not doing a good enough job at school, house, time with family, time with friends....fill in the blank. The Lord was showing me that it's not okay living from that place of 'I'm not doing a good enough job', I may feel that way at times but it is okay to not have it all together, I do not have to be superwoman.
On the other side of that, the Holy Spirit was convicting me about how I was speaking about school and over our home school experience as a whole. For me, that means speaking life over my attitude and over school, it means taking my job as educator seriously and doing an excellent job at this amazing task He's given me to do.
It does not mean that perfection is expected everyday and that I don't stop take care of Rowan if he's fussy and teething and we do school later, because that is reality. It's not living with condemnation but listening and responding to conviction in my heart.
With the combination of hearing from the Lord that we are supposed to continue home school next year, and being spurred on to the place a new level of priority and excellence in school, I was so excited to start up this new quarter! I feel refreshed and excited about it and I can see my attitude affecting the attitudes of the kids and making a positive impact on their excitement about learning.
When we're actually 'doing' school and the kids are learning, I realize that I love to teach.
I pray for a continued excitement for me and the kids the rest of the year! I'll probably come back and read this to remind myself to stay focused and to stay positive:)